Rewarding myself

So, as outlined in my post on incentives, I got myself a Lost t-shirt.  I went with this one in royal blue.  I was going to wait until my next weigh-in, but so far this week I’ve been doing well at maintaining my under 300 lbs. weigh-in.  So I figured I might as well.

Weigh-In Sunday

Start: 327 lbs.
Last week: 302.4 lbs.
This week:  299.2 lbs.
Change: -3.2 lbs. lbs.
Total Change: -27.8 lbs.

I’m under 300 lbs. for the first time!  Technically, I can now buy my Lost t-shirt, but I’m going to hold off until I get a second weigh-in under 300 to confirm the result.  Under 300 is big for me.  I haven’t been under 300 since I started school, and to be honest I’m not sure I was under 300 then since I avoided weighing myself to pretend that I hadn’t gained so much weight.  It feels like I’ve been doing this forever and that I have been stuck in the 300s forever.  It’s nice to finally be back in the 200s.

I thought that once I reached under 300 the weight loss would feel real to me.  But it doesn’t.  I’m not sure why that is because intellectually I know I’ve lost quite a bit of weight, but psychologically it doesn’t feel that way to me.  I still feel fat (which I still am so that feeling probably won’t go away for awhile if it ever does), and I personally can’t tell that I’ve lost weight looking in the mirror or even looking at photos I’ve taken along the way.  I can tell that I was bigger in my January photos (my face is all puffed out!), but from February on I look the same to me.  There’s a still a lot left to lose, and even after I reach my goal of losing 100 I want to go on until I get closer to my ideal weight.  So there’s plenty of opportunity to start making it “feel real” to me.