You know you’ve made it when…

Here’s a couple things I’ve noticed lately that have been pretty cool for me:

1. Walking by a mirror/window and I find myself checking myself and thinking I look good. Oh, okay, so that’s not really an indication of how I actually look. It’s just my own vanity, but it’s nice to finally be able to think that I look good when I go out. I used to just leave the house thinking I look my best, but now I leave thinking I look good. A slight difference, but I think one that matters.

2. Attention. ‘Nuff said. I don’t feel the need to elaborate, but I think everyone can agree that it’s nice to get noticed.

3. The other day I was buying jeans at Kohl’s. I was in the dressing room while a teenager was trying to find pants with his mom. He wanted these pants that were riding a little high, but his mom convinced him to try on a pair that looked a little more normal but may have run a little long. He was complaining about them as I walked out and his mother told him that it looked cooler that way and then she pointed at me and said, “See, he wears his jeans a little long. You just have to wear them confidently like he does.” I felt pretty good about that.

4. I don’t feel fat anymore. Being fat used to be who I was, but not anymore. I feel more like I’m on the higher end of normal.  I certainly have quite a bit more weight that I’d like to lose, but I don’t feel fat. Which is kind of a first for me. Well, at least a first in a long time. I’m still trying to get used to the feeling.

The Effects of a Healthier Lifestyle

My roommate has mentioned a couple times that he’s noticed that I’m more energetic than I was before the summer when he last saw me. I get up and do more apparently. I hadn’t actually noticed that, but thinking about it I do tend to get up and do stuff more than I did before.  I get restless sitting in front of my computer or TV. I’m more likely now to get up and take a walk.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that I’m more confident in myself. I’m not sure if this is a result of my weight loss, but in the past I’ve generally just sat in the back of my classes and not added much to class discussions.  Yesterday, my first real day back at school (I had only one class Monday so I don’t really count that as the first day), I talked more in one day of classes than I did in a whole semester of some of my classes last year. Hopefully I’m not turning into a law school gunner!  I’m also taking more seminar-type classes which are smaller and more discussion-oriented, so my increased confidence could be more because of that. I’m also a third-year this time around, so I’ve got a little more experience under my belt.

So, the confidence may have nothing to do with my weight loss efforts, but I think it is at least a part of it.  Though in general, it feels good to be losing weight and continuing to lose weight.  After being “the fat guy” for so long, it’s hard to contemplate not being the “the fat guy.”  I haven’t quite reached that point yet, I feel, but I’m getting there.  And just the effort of moving further away from that identity feels great.