Complacency

I mentioned the other day that complacency was what got me to 300+ pounds, which lead me to the inevitable conclusion: don’t be complacent. I’ve been thinking a lot about that lately, and I thought it would help me to flesh out my thoughts a little more by blogging about it. So here it goes.

For most of my life I’ve been content to just sit back and let things happen. For a time that strategy worked pretty well for me. In my first few relationships the girl made the first move (I know, pathetic, right?). I chose to attend Whitworth for undergrad because they were willing to accept me (and give me a scholarship) without me having to write an essay. I worked at Mercury because it was the first place to offer me a job after college. I could probably go on if I wanted to, but those are the major events that have just happened to me.

I’ve known all along that I need someone to push me. The Aunts pushed me to go to law school and that was a great decision. This last year, though, I’ve realized that I can also push myself. For the longest time I’ve thought that I was “stuck” as this person that wasn’t exactly who I wanted to be. This last year has taught me that I can change myself. I can be the person I want to be. And I’m not talking about the weight loss and appearances. I’m talking about the inner me. The one who just sits back and lets things happen. That’s not who I want to be. There’s a fine line between being laidback and not asserting yourself. I am laidback, but I don’t want to be perceived as the guy who doesn’t care. Because I do.

This is what complacency is to me. 300+ pounds. Letting things happen. There’s nothing wrong with just letting things happen the way they were meant to go down every now and then, but it feels so much more accomplishing when you go out and make things happen the way you want them to. And that’s my thought for the day.

Just thinking

For a little while there I was posting every day. I have, unfortunately, been a little bit more busy with school lately, so I fell out of that pattern. Once finals are through I’ll see if I can get back into it.

I’m really close to my goal now. Several people have asked if they think I’ll make it before the end of the year. I wasn’t sure there for a bit, but I think I will. The thing is, though, is that it doesn’t really matter that much to me. I’m doing so well that I know that even if I don’t make 100 by the end of the year, I know I will get there. It’s not like I’m going to quit and gain it all back if I’m only at 99 on January 1, 2012.  Wherever I get to by the end of the year, I will make my goal and beyond.  I’ve already decided that my new goal is to be under 200 by the summer. I’m confident that I can make that.

Last year I set out to make this physical change in my life, but now that I’m almost to the other side of it I’ve realized that it’s much more than that.  This lifestyle change of mine has, as promised, changed my life. Physically, mentally, spiritually, all of the above. In many ways I’m still the same person, but in many other ways I’ve completely changed. I’m more confident in who I am. I have more pride in how I present myself to the world. I’m more assertive. I take care in how I look. I have more energy.

I’m still the laid-back, easygoing guy I’ve always been, but I’m also no longer complacent.  Complacent is what brought me to 300+ pounds; I no longer want to be complacent. That’s no longer good enough for me; I want more. I want to be pushed, and I’m thankful that I have friends and family that continue to push me to do better.  Setting out to do this amazing thing has taught me a lot, but most of all is that it has taught me that I don’t have to be the person I thought I was. I can be the person I want to be. And that’s pretty cool.

Alrighty, back to the grind!